Fall

by November the grasses became laden

with all of the forgotten ones

the change was a bit too sudden

their beauty was adored shortly before

the sight of them brought joy to many

as their warm hues glimmered in the sun

until the air cooled and the wind emboldened

and once pleasant appearances now faltered

dull and undesired they had now become

and hold on they no longer could

they surrendered to the autumn breeze

for to begin again renewed on this earth

the fall is their last measure

*****

Although many people start to bring changes in their lives beginning in January, I think that this season has naturally became that for me. Last year in November, my family and I made a decision that drastically changed our lives. We lost much of our social construct and our belief system. Everything changed faster than we could wrap our heads around, and the effects of our decision had a more shocking affect than we had be prepared ourselves for. This has definitely been the hardest year of my life. However, sometimes you have to fall to be reborn anew. I have realized at times to create a better life for yourself and fulfill your goals in life, you have to “turn a new leaf.” Maybe you may be a bit fragile for a while, because change doesn’t come easy. You may lose somethings, but you will gain much more precious things. In the end, your choice won’t be something you will regret. This may have been my hardest year, but I hindsight I wouldn’t have held on for a second more.

12/5/19

Avoidance of Actuality

Although legends falsely claimed ostriches bury their heads to avoid danger, they actually do this to arrange their eggs which are buried underground. However, their practice continues to be a great illustration for avoidance.

how does it end

thoughts of that are simple

and perfection was the dream

but is most impossible

the actuality is so difficult

tying the end to the beginning

and the unavoidable rift in-between

teeming with action and decision

exhausting change and busyness

nothing’s done as fast as time races

in a blink the world has grown

and yet, I have not

Does anyone else have this problem or feel in a similar way at times? If not, do you have any advice? I know that this something that I have found I seriously struggle with, and there are many factors involved with it. Let me know what you think in the comments, and thank you so much for reading!


10/31/19

Humanity and Insanity

he began to forget the further he went

the way of men he tried hard to resent

and in his solitude, the longer he spent

purpose deprived in the continued acsent

There is something that we must be conscious and careful of as the world moves deeper into the path of technology and innovation. That is, we must never confuse humanity with insanity.

We can imagine a world a hundred years in the future, where we have a new generation born on mars. Many people may own flying cars. There may be explorations being set forth past our solar system, into the great unknown. However, we must never forget what we are. We are humans, first.

We are explorers and crafters, yes. We are inquirers and questioners, always.

But, we are also lovers. We are helpers. We are believers and dreamers. We are passionate. We have fear, and anger. We have sadness too, and it’s okay to feel all of it. It natural to be vulnerable, and feel helpless for a moment. Because when you feel helpless, that’s when we need humanity most. We need the embrace of a friend. When we fall, we can grasp for the hand humanity extends. We must be there for each other.

Will we forget to look fondly at the earth as we soar past our atmosphere? Will love and mercy become a distorted in our minds, as a hurdle we must jump over for success? Will reacting naturally to emotionally stimulating experiences become some sort of psychological anomaly, and therefore looked upon as the real problem? Will the logical operations that run our machines overrun us, and cause us to forget who we truly are at our core? Will we lose our purpose on the way to the stars? If the answer is yes to any of these, that is the insanity that we must fear.

The farther we go, the more we learn, the better we build, we must not forget our home. And our home is this. It’s us. Humans on planet earth.

There will never be a star for us like the sun. And earth will forever be home with its peoples.

a rumination after viewing the motion picture “Ad Astra”

10/20/19

Thoughts Before Flight

As I entered, momentarily gazing

at the many faces of those seating

on the vehicle I would settle

until our destination was reached

a couple that spoke together softly

while holding their hands together

a man drowned out all the noise

while his eyes roved like mine

a small blonde boy walked the isle

his mom followed closely behind

a bearded man swallowed pills

and closed his eyes in preparation

I wondered how we were able

to have such trust and surrender

to the abilities of human beings

who are imperfect just like us

we were able to set aside

the fear of everything possible

how often did we do this

consciously or unconsciously

close our eyes and fall back

and hope the universe will catch us

Two days ago, I took a flight with my family across the country. As I walked down the aisle to reach my seat, I couldn’t help but look at the faces around me in wonderment. In my anxiety, I thought at first, “These all are the people I could die with.” I scanned the faces, saving them to my memory.

A man, a women, a couple, a family, a mother and child. All on the same plane, the same destiny for the time being. They fastened their belts, and awaited for liftoff. As I took in this scene, I realized something very significant.

These are people of faith. All of them really. Why else are the potentially surrendering themselves to the capability of those in the deck? Having trust in a vehicle that defies gravity in a way they can’t even fully grasp? This was interesting to me.

Humans are creatures of faith, trust and hope constantly. Whether we notice it or not. It is an odd but beautiful thing. We know what could happen, the negative possibilities or even life threatening consequences of our everyday choices. Often, we have to set aside fear (I am very afraid of heights) so that we can fulfill our needs, dreams, and ambitions. As humans, we evolve each moment we surmount our nature in this manner, and trust that by doing so we getting closer to reaching our purposes for living.

I found that even being thousands of feet in the air was quite a wonderful experience after all, and I would quite like to do it many more times over.

9/9/19

Our Unrelenting Inclination

“Since I first gained the use of reason my inclination toward leaning had been so violent and strong that neither the the scolding of other people…nor my own reflections…have been able to stop me from following this natural impulse…”

Juana Ines de la Cruz

libraries

If anything had triggered progress in humanity, it is probably our innate, burning desire to know the unknown, to understand what we do not yet understand, and to grasp what may have been previously deemed indecipherable. So much has come out of this somewhat unconscious inclination.

I feel that reading satisfies this desire. With books, we are able to enjoy learning, and even experiencing (through our capable imaginations) almost a infinite number of topics. Everyone is curious about something and have questions that they want an answer to. However, we live in a world in which we have everything at our fingertips, where an answer is merely a click away. Personally, I find it much more gratifying and arousing to learn about my curiosities through a book. There’s something more magical about it, reading the lines on a page in which a writer laboriously fabricated for the motive of piquing the mind of it’s reader.

Often, our unrelenting inclination towards learning is often left unsatisfied. It’s often fear of being unpopular that I believe hinders the process of  intellectual growth. Maybe the primary way that many people may attempt seeking their mindly interests, whether they are unpopular or not, may be through a quick internet search on their smart phones. It also may because having curiosity in certain subjects is frowned upon or even rejected in their community. I have experience both firsthand. Nonetheless, I didn’t allow it to keep me from from finding books, and learning about the things that fascinated me.

If there is matter that fills your mind with wonder and intrigue, you should not allow anything from stopping you from hunting for information about it. In the end, there is are only a few thing things more rewarding than searching and finding. Personally, I recommend libraries, which are our world’s free intellectual havens and open sources of knowledge on almost anything. Pick up a book or two, and it will start you on a journey that you may have never guessed you’d be on before.

 

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